1. 2025

The dust has settled. Eight fallen comrades have perished, their broken lineups scattered across the wasteland like so many shattered dreams and busted ACLs. And now, for the first time in 3 years, only two men remain not named Gangus. Thank the lord. Let's meet our champions.

Lord Panty — Anthony. The man with the goods, the swagger, the moustache. The fantasy cockroach that simply refuses to die no matter how many times you try to step on him. His ride-or-die homies, Drake Maye, Jonathan Taylor, and the ghost of Rashee Rice have dragged him through blood, sweat, and bye-weeks to reach this moment. Week after week, Anthony watched teams fall around him like dominoes. Did he flinch? Did he panic? Did he even really notice? No. Panty just kept crawling forward, eyes locked straight ahead, never once glancing in the rearview mirror.

But lurking in the shadows is the ghost…

First, welcome to the new Updates page. Wix forced me to change it today, and I hope it doesn't suck, but we don't have a choice. I'm still figuring it out, so please bear with me. Now back to regular scheduled programming.

Another wacky week in the world of 440 & Friends — the revolving door at the top just keeps on spinning. Let’s dive into who’s rising, who’s falling, and who has Opelite living rent-free in their head. Just me? I didn’t think so.

Anthony (137.34) def. Greg (132.26)

That’s it. I’m calling my shot. I hate to say it — I really hate to — but Panty’s team has the goods. It’s true. He’s my pick to win it all in 2025. Hopefully, just saying that is enough to put the hex on him, but it’s too late to put any bad juju on this past week.

We’re five weeks in — one third of the season gone — and the standings are finally starting to take shape. It’s pretty plain to see who's good, who's bad, and who's ugly. The Squid Game has been officially cut in half, Garrett has moved back up into the top of the standings, but with five teams nipping at his heels, a shake-up is bound to happen. Let’s dive into the week 5 action.

Garrett (133.02) def. Scarpitti (90.24)

We have to start here. You couldn’t script a more contentious week for Scarpitti. If you missed the novel dropped in the group chat, here’s the TLDR: his whole lineup was cooked. Literally, his entire roster was either injured or on bye. We’ve never seen the likes of it – Lamar, Evans, Bijan, Metcalf, London, Warren, Odunze... all out. Scarps was in full scramble mode, tossing trade offers like Oprah handing out…

Well, it’s been a weird start to the season, to say the least. If you invested early in wide receivers (like I did), it’s time to pack it up and go home. For god’s sake, Tre Tucker has more fantasy points than Ja’Marr Chase. Sorry, Hayden. At best, your WR1 looks more like a WR4. At worst, he’s in the blue medical tent being carted off to the waiver wire. But hey — with pickups like Darius Slayton and Darren Waller, we’ve got nothing to worry about, right? … I mean, am I right? … Hello? … Is anyone there?

GRAHAM (173.30) destroys SCOTTY (127.18)

We’ve watched Graham rent out permanent space in the basement of the standings for years, but this season he’s gone full Kool-Aid Man and smashed his way into the penthouse with a monster performance. It was the highest score we’ve seen since 2023. Mahomes, Puka,…