1. 2025

First, welcome to the new Updates page. Wix forced me to change it today, and I hope it doesn't suck, but we don't have a choice. I'm still figuring it out, so please bear with me. Now back to regular scheduled programming.

Another wacky week in the world of 440 & Friends — the revolving door at the top just keeps on spinning. Let’s dive into who’s rising, who’s falling, and who has Opelite living rent-free in their head. Just me? I didn’t think so.

Anthony (137.34) def. Greg (132.26)

That’s it. I’m calling my shot. I hate to say it — I really hate to — but Panty’s team has the goods. It’s true. He’s my pick to win it all in 2025. Hopefully, just saying that is enough to put the hex on him, but it’s too late to put any bad juju on this past week.

Anthony (and the Patriots) have found their guy in Drake Maye (33.24), Jonathan Taylor (23.70) might be the best player in fantasy football, and Ladd McConkey (21.50) is showing signs of a pulse. He’s got the playmakers. He’s got the depth. For crying out loud, his bench almost beat Garrett this week! Barring injuries—or, I don’t know, a heart attack—this could finally be the year Anthony puts his name on the trophy.

On the flip side, Greg put up a strong week. He would’ve taken down more than half the league if not for the tough matchup. JSN (28.20) and CMC (20.60) both went off, but it wasn’t enough to fend off little bro. Anthony grabs the High Score Bonus and now sits alone at the top at 4-2, with $55 in the bank.

Scotty (136.34) def. Hayden (135.14)

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls… Let me introduce your back-to-back Photo Finish champiooooooon — Scottyyyyy Reaaagaaaan!

Damn, what a win — and what a week to do it. After strong outings from Jayden Daniels (27.64) and De’Von Achane (31.00), Scotty was still down big heading into Monday night. Like needs-a-miracle big. And when you need a miracle, who do you turn to? Obviously, Kyle Pitts and D’Andre Swift. Well, Swift delivered. With 1:14 left in the game on Monday night, he broke off a 15-yard run that pushed him over the 100-yard mark — earning the two-point bonus and handing Scotty a 1.2-point Photo Finish victory.

Poor Hayden. Two strong weeks in a row. Ja’Marr Chase is heating up, Rico Dowdle is apparently a thing now, and Dak Prescott sits as the QB3. On paper, this should’ve been a win. But against Scotty? Yeah, no. Hayden is now 2-11 all-time versus Reagan’s Raiders — snake-bitten by the fantasy gods once again.

That’s heartbreak city. Population: Hayden.

Scarpitti (126.68) def. Gangus (107.04)

Well, looky looky. After marching out the replacements last week, Chef Scarpitti was in the kitchen, ready to cook up a win.

So what are the specials tonight, chef Mark?

Yes, so glad you asked.

We will begin with a Drake London Fog on the rocks, shaken–smooth, refreshing, and absolutely intoxicating with 28.8 points. Following that may we suggest the bone in Double Kut Metcalf grilled over medium to absolute perfection for a succulent 17.5 points. Pair that with our fresh cut frites drizzled with our signature spicy Bijan—imported, exotic, and packing enough heat to set your taste buds (and playoff hopes) ablaze with 34.8 points. But save room for dessert, because the pièce de résistance is our famous Caleb Crème Brûlée—torched to caramelized excellence for a chef's kiss 21.9 points.

Mark then looked across the table at Gangus, smiled politely, and told him to choke on it—preferably with a nice Chianti. Chef Scarps knifes his way to 4-2 and slices into 3rd place, simmering nicely in the playoff pot—while Gangus gets sent for a time out in the walk-in cooler.

Graham (94.98) def. Garrett (73.22)

Ah, the fall from grace. One week ago, Garrett was perched atop the standings like Thanos on his throne, infinity gauntlet fully loaded. He was inevitable. Unstoppable. Already measuring the wall for his 3rd championship banner.

Then the Avengers assembled.

In a stunning reversal, Garrett's roster disintegrated faster than Spider-Man in Infinity War. Obviously, you remember the scene in the 3rd Avengers movie, when Peter Parker was on the planet Titan with Tony Stark to confront Thanos, having pursued him there after rescuing Doctor Strange from Ebony Maw on the Q-ship—but thennnn, Thanos snapped his fingers and turned half the world to DUST?? JUST LIKE GARRETT. Pure dust, crumbling to a season-low 73 points and now eliminated from the Squid Game. No TIME STONE to reverse it. No REALITY STONE to rewrite the box score. Just dust.

Meanwhile, Graham suited up like Captain America, ready for war, led by Patrick Mahomes slinging the hammer of Thor with a god-tier 37.48 points. Add in Ashton Jeanty's 15.6 points, and Graham had more than enough firepower to assemble the win.

"I am inevitable," Garrett once said.

"And I... am... Graham, bitch." Finger snap.

Coyne (118.66) def. Schilling (87.22)

Of all seasons I decide to be more active with the weekly write-ups, THIS is the one I choose? Really? I could have spent YEARS patting myself on the back week after week, win after win, basking in my own brilliance like some fantasy football genius staring into the reflection of his perfect lineup. But no. I choose THIS year. The year I go 1-14 and try to claw my way back to respectability by bottom-feeding off the waiver wire like a fantasy hobo digging through the trash looking for the next Rico Dowdle. Only to find the tattered remains of my tear-soaked championship banners.

Let me tell you what watching my team is like. You know when the sunlight comes through your living room window at just the right angle and you can suddenly see all the dust and crap that's been floating around in the air the whole time? Particles you didn't even know existed, just hanging there, suspended in space, mocking you. It's disgusting, and you desperately want to clean it up, to fix it—wave your arms, open a window, do something—but you can't. The dust doesn't care. It just keeps floating. And you just have to sit there on your couch, paralyzed, breathing in the shit piece by piece. That's my season. Every Sunday. Just me, my lineup, slowly being strangled by the dust.

But enough about how pathetic Schill the Thrill is this season.

This week belonged to Coyne—and frankly, he earned it. Josh Jacobs bulldozed his way to 29.5, while Justin Herbert slung it for 22.76. The dynamic duo vaulted Coyne to victory and lifted him a full game clear of the basement.

Is it a playoff run? Meh, probably not. But it's hope—and in a season like this, hope can carry you all the way from Tuesday to Thursday.

WEEK 7 PREVIEW

• Anthony (4-2) vs. Brian (2-4): Top vs. near-bottom — but Hayden's been heating up. Can he take down #1?

• Galaxy (4-2) vs. Graham (4-2): A heavyweight clash. Both are chasing the #1 spot, both averaging over 117 PPG.

• Garrett (4-2) vs. Scotty (3-3): After his Squid Game exit, Garrett looks to bounce back, but Scotty’s riding high from last week's W.

• Gangus (3-3) vs. Coyne (2-4): Two teams desperate for a win to stay relevant in the middle of the pack.

• Schilling (1-5) vs. Greg (3-3): Schill The Thrill tries to end the losing streak against a Deer Hunter squad that’s been quietly consistent.

Week 6 Poll

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@Everyone