1. 2025

Well, it’s been a weird start to the season, to say the least. If you invested early in wide receivers (like I did), it’s time to pack it up and go home. For god’s sake, Tre Tucker has more fantasy points than Ja’Marr Chase. Sorry, Hayden. At best, your WR1 looks more like a WR4. At worst, he’s in the blue medical tent being carted off to the waiver wire. But hey — with pickups like Darius Slayton and Darren Waller, we’ve got nothing to worry about, right? … I mean, am I right? … Hello? … Is anyone there?

GRAHAM (173.30) destroys SCOTTY (127.18)

We’ve watched Graham rent out permanent space in the basement of the standings for years, but this season he’s gone full Kool-Aid Man and smashed his way into the penthouse with a monster performance. It was the highest score we’ve seen since 2023. Mahomes, Puka, Jeanty, and James Cook all went bananas, carrying Graham to this week’s high score and first place in the standings.

On the flip side, Scotty posted a respectable 127, but it was all doom and gloom for Reagan’s Raiders. Malik Nabers and Tyreek Hill both suffered season-ending knee injuries, leaving Scotty’s wide receiver room on life support. Somebody call a priest.

SCARPITTI (145.28) beats up COYNE (133.82)

Coyne finally showed signs of life, posting his best score to date (thanks to Josh Jacobs’ 29.7), but fantasy can be a cruel bitch. Just ask Scotty. This week, Coyne’s misfortune came from none other than Kenneth Gainwell — yes, Kenny MF Gainwell — who popped off for 28.4 in Ireland. A shifty little pickup by Scarpitti that flipped the matchup on its head. Add in Bijan dropping in 28, and Chase McLaughlin chipping in 18, and Coyne never really stood a chance. Lamar Jackson's 12 points weren’t much help, but it was still enough to keep Galaxy rolling. Coyne’s effort was solid, but no doubt the botulism is beginning to set in.

GANGUS (121.86) slips past GREG (112.54)

This one was closer than it should’ve been, but Gangus held on to even his record at 2-2 and snagged the Lucky Duck Bonus $25 along the way. Amon-Ra St. Brown (22.5) and Courtland Sutton (16.6) kept him afloat despite Derrick Henry putting up a measly 6.8 points. Are we witnessing the end of Old Man Henry?

Greg got a monster performance from Bo Nix (31.74), and CMC is steady as a rock, but it wasn’t enough to close the gap. Gangus happy. Greg sad.

GARRETT (125.76) annihilates ANTHONY (112.12)

Garrett keeps grinding out wins. This time behind Josh Allen (28.86) and Emeka Egbuka (20.1). And his boy, Quentin Johnston? My guy has been invisible for the last two seasons, and now he’s the league’s WR4?!? You can’t make it up.

Anthony got 22.22 from Drake Maye and 15.40 from Saquon, but Ladd McKonkey has completely disappeared in Johnston’s shadow. Sam Laporta and Minnesota’s D weren’t much help either. Panty drops to 2-2 and falls from the top of the standings, while Garrett sneaks into the top three at 3-1.

SCHILLING (123.60) obliterates HAYDEN (79.98)

Finally. Schilling gets his first win of the season and avoids the dreaded 0-4 start. It’s kind of like shooting a 127, but you par the last hole, so you come away with that “not all hope is lost” illusion. If nothing elese, it keeps you coming back. Jalen Hurts (23.4), Jefferson (19.6), and Omari Hampton (27) carried the day in a blowout. Hayden? Bruh. He’s still searching for his first 100-point week of the season. Bucky Irving, was his only bright spot, and now he may be injured? Can't get worse. Or can it? The 79-point disaster earns him the low score of the week and our next Squid Game fatality. Brian the MG... MG... MG... Hmm.. Does it stand for.. Maybe Garbage?

@GANGUS @garrett.girouard@Graham Spiller@Greg Cameron @mark.scarpitti @Hayden @jcoyne817 @sreags5 @SCHILLING  @Anthony Pantalones  @deanwmoran